Firstly this should've been written yesterday, but I'm a lazy bastard who was too caught up playing Pokémon. So yeah. But yes. Yesterday was Father's Day; a day which is marked to commemorate the (positive) impact of Fathers on their families. Thus, until I run out of things to say, I shall speak about my father.
My relationship with my parents sucks. No question or comment on that; and it's due to a lot of things which have culminated, not completely anyone's fault (if "fault" is even applicable here). So to be honest I don't have the best father-son relationship. In fact, my father and I as SOOO different it's almost comical. My father is a morning person. That is one of the most noted differences... considering that especially now, as it is Summer, I, the living creature of the night, go to bed when he's waking up. This of course causes some disagreement when he wakes me up 2 hours later to allocate some job/responsibility/chore... The harmony of nocturnal and diurnal creatures is difficult, especially when the diurnal one has the authority and right to give the nocturnal one jobs whilst the accursed ball of fire still scorches the skin and retinas of the beholders. There are other differences of course, including my fathers outdoorsmanship, his people skills, his initiative many of which I will talk about in time.
In April, on my father's birthday I told him that he has always been my role model. That statement is still applicable, and will never be annulled or voided. You see if you've ever read my poem "Mother" (yes, that is a link to it) you will probably come to the conclusion that if I were to have a favourite parent my father would probably have a better chance at that prestigious position. My father is a hardworking, diligent, man who cares about his family and has magnificent people skills (haha sounds like something that would go on a resume or recommendation or something..). That, however, is the kind of person who I want to become, though in many areas I seem to be severely lacking. Though somewhere inside me I've always considered my father a better man than I (on account of being married to my mother for 24 years... wow... 24 years), yet he's the one who's proud of me.
I legitimately don't know how my father does all that he does. Though he's labelled as "Incapable of saying 'No' " (a trait I do have some sign of having), it's through that trait I've seen how selfless a man should and can be. His long hours, work, more work, doing favours, catching up on work due to favours he did, jobs around the house... In some respect my childhood has been quite work free because of everything that he does (so I can't really quarrel about the few jobs I do get... though I will still wait till 1am to do the dishes). His dedication to providing for his family (I've seen him give me his last few dollars to allow me to go somewhere, enjoy something, or simply go to school). Selfless. Responsible.
There aren't many bad things about him. He's a bit patronizing at times, maybe a bit formal, I have memories of him referring to me by my entire first name for most of my childhood (just know I have a pretty long first name),but I think that's it. My father is the Understanding Parent though. He's the one with at least some amount of levelheadedness. (Sentimentality is a trait I share with my mother...) He's almost always calm, dealing with whatever has to be dealt with in a very adult manner... Actually, I think my father has tried the most to create some kind of relationship with me (I'm the one who kinda shrugs it off) and for many reasons I hope my children are more open than I am (needa find a WOIFE wit' dose characteristics) so that even if I'm half the father mine is, I can have a better relationship than exists between mine and I.
Even in my childhood, many of the best memories are with him. GEO TEACHERS HAVE THE BEST FIELD TRIPS, and back then he'd take me off school to go with him. I guess through all the travelling with him I was guaranteed a life free of any motion sicknesses (WOO!!) plus a love of the world around me on a whole (maybe that's why I'm so science oriented).in his youth he played an instrument, he drew, he acted... So maybe my artistic side came from him too... Haha ain't that a
bitch, I'm probably more like him than I realise (which is a pretty happy thought)...
But, and I think most importantly, my father is here. It's really a blessing to have both parents growing up (...) and it's one I think I've overlooked many times. However, when I see how many of my friends and other people I associate with don't have this privilege, especially with the precedence of single mothers these days. I am EXTREMELY blessed to have the man who is my my father as my father.
So Daddy, I raise my glass of your liquor, which I have so often stolen out of the cupboard, to you.
Thank You, and even though I'm not that versed at expressing it, I do love you.
Your Firstborn
-Me.
Monday 17 June 2013
Saturday 15 June 2013
Passion
This post should have been about freedom or something like that since my exams are DONE. (fireworks, explosions, fanfare, stripper jumps out of the cake, other celebratory stuff) But as you must have noticed by now I NEVER end up writing what I plan to (you'll get used to it, I have). Somewhat rambling introduction; check.pas·sion [pash-uhn]
noun
1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.3. strong sexual desire; lust.4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
Now, and I don't mean to brag or anything this is all apart of the point I'm making, I'm a writer (poems, stories, working on a novel, plays, this blog), an artist (mainly graphic art, I draw a little), an actor, I can do a bit of public speaking and if I haven't forgotten anything I'm pretty smart too. Now all talent means when you're young is that you have potential. The people with potential are burdened by expectations: parents, other family, teachers, even friends expect you to make something of yourself. Of course they mean the best, but a burden is a burden. So when I was like 6 the answer to "What do you want to do when you get older?" The answer was "Teacher" and my mother all but beat that idea out of me. a few years later (about when I was 10) the answer was "Herpetologist". That died a natural death (still interested in reptiles though). For the first like 2 years of high school the answer was doctor (however that was before I had discovered any of the aforementioned talents other than being a smart kid.. so all this confusion started when I began this whole multitalented shit). In short, right now even though my spoken answer, and the answer on paper in the guidance councillor's office is that I want to be a Doctor, when the answer really is that I don't have a clue.
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. ~ConfuciusI love that quote. However, this brings us to the topic, and the problem I have. I have no passion (umm, definition number 1 up there... would love to talk about the others.. but all things come with time). But really it all comes down to doing what you're passionate about. I have friends who know exactly what they want to be, people who are able to pour themselves into everything they do... and I admire them. Like my friend who will probably be my Member of Parliament in the future, or another friend who's poetry moves me more than she knows, another who has had too many ambitions (though she said she came up with her final answer).. All of them, and others, have discovered their passions and plan to follow them... Yet my talented ass is so ambitionless it's disgraceful.
I'll have to thank my friend who has more or less the same "lack of zeal" dilemma for reminding me of this at the time I would be least likely to think about it. But really and truly I think no matter how much we worry about this (and I worry about this a lot) It will work itself out. Passion isn't something that's forced. In fact, I think the more we try to force it, the more we worry, the harder it is to be realised.
Anyways I may have more to say on this topic but the sun is coming up and I hear birds outside.... haha gotta love being a night person.
-Me
Saturday 1 June 2013
We Are People
So alot has hapened over the last week; my computer has failed me, I've been at home for God knows how long, alot of rain (rain... rain has it's effects on me >__> ), even went on a (casual) date. It's been a busy week. Now (and I've never actually mentioned this on the blog before) I'm a total manga otaku (and if you don't know manga, in this case, refers to eastern comics on a whole, and an otaku is an "avid enthusiast"). And over the past week (due to using my mother's laptop) my intrnet usage has been reduced to twitter, facebook and manga. (darn you outated flash player and complicated circumstances) But yeah since 3rd form (or 9th grade or whatever) till now I've read an enormous amount of this stuff (to the point that I'm almost proud of it... which I'm guessing I shouldn't be)...
Anyways, my obsessi- I mean- avid enthusiasm isn't the subjct of this post. But like any media, especially in the realm of entertainment, manga of all genres and from all writers are about people; and though this may not seem like the best place to draw conclusions about people from; I know (being a writer myself) that you write from experience. You create charcters dependent on your grasp of the people you've met, interacted with, observed or simply seen. (Now I'm just not making any sense, I should just go into what I'm saying)
I've often said that I love people, and I truly do, and in my 17 (meh call it 18) years of existence I've had the opportunity to meet more people than my poor excuse for memory can account for. So in this post I'll (try) to point out some of the things I've realised about people some through experience and some probably through dubious means like (I dont know.....) fictional charcters made by people half-way across the globe (though I won't mention them after this point though). But hey, It's my blog, and my *Immediate* Thoughts.
1. We are people who tend to understand others more than we understand ourselves
Have you ever given advice to someone after hearing their situation that is PERFECTLY applicable to yours, then wonder 'why don't I follow my own advice'??? As I've realised we really don't know ourselves half as well as we think we do. Like think about it. When it comes to other people; ets say for instance, our friends. We do in fact have an innate understanding (at least on a basic level) of our friends. We understand how their humour works (know which jokes we can run from which ones we can't), we understand how they generally reacht to certain situations, we understand what they think about certain things etc. Most of this, ofcourse, is due to maybe trial and error, observation etc. However from the beginning of this friendship, there had to be some mutual understanding, by whatever means. I guess similarities, shared interests etc count but they're not sufficient. I've come to be friends with people who i have little or nothing in common with... I believe that in our incredible social arsenal as humans we have the capability of understanding people. However, this capability doesn't quite seem to work that well on ourselves. We do understand ourselves somewhat, but we can hide things from ourselves, things that we need deep self reflection or (get this) SOMEONE ELSE POINTING IT OUT to actually discover.
2. We are people who love to segregate
We see it everyday. We create groups, and then turn groups against each other. Now conflict is our nature blah, blah, blah but we're really stupid about how we use it. I mean we become antagonistic towards people for the worst reasons. Race, gender, the school you go to, the place you come from... Things which sometimes don't even have any personal bearing on your life. And it creates this culture of steretyping which saddens me. I mean it's one thing to make a joke comcerning a stereotype, biut there are people who actually believe that you can bundle people together and stick a tag on them. (now in my lectures on "originality this" and "individuality that" you can basically understand my views on this) What feeds this, however, are two parts of our nature.
1. The need for belonging: we love being part of a group, belonging somewhere, having an identity as such.
2. The need for superiority: we love being in a better osition than others (or atleast feeling that we're in a better position than others) so if we can tag a whole sub group of poeple as being in a worse condition than we are then we will do it.
Neither of these are bad in themselves, it's just how we've approached them. if instead of labeling people as being worse than us we actually worked to be better (and all of us did) then I'm sure the world would be a better place. Similarly if we created our groups in a way that doesn't require antagonism against other groups then we could all work towards ur own superiority (if not over others over our "past self"... (Though i'm just a 17 year old idealist... what do I know??)
3. We are a people whose intentions and actions aren't necessarily coherent
We can legitimately do good things for bad reasons (vice versa). And for some reason it humours me. It makes me wonder how may people were hailed as heroes or imprisoned as criminals while their motives dictated would've dictated the opposite. Like how many people have killed out of love or rescued out out of hatred. We are driven by so many forces yet what we are driven to do is almost completely independent. To me, it's funny... But then it makes one think about one's own motives.
4.We are people who grasp after "impossibilities"
A few years ago the though that the mass of human knowledge, research and discoveries could be held in a man's pocket would have been deemed "impossible" yet now we have the internet which in a way is pretty much just that. A some years before that flight was also "impossible" and we all know how that unravelled. Even now in our imaginations we continually grasp after the things that we are incapable of (look at our entertainment...) The prospect of one day reaching something tomorrow that was impossible today is one of the driving forces behind our personal, and global development.
haaa so I ended up blabbing on about near-useless stuff and this may be a somewhat boring post after all (>_<) but bear with me. And I look forward to- whoaaa looking back on this post it's pretty long... haha, I got carried away. Anyways remember, in every situation; We are People: Nothing More, Nothing Less.
-Me
Anyways, my obsessi- I mean- avid enthusiasm isn't the subjct of this post. But like any media, especially in the realm of entertainment, manga of all genres and from all writers are about people; and though this may not seem like the best place to draw conclusions about people from; I know (being a writer myself) that you write from experience. You create charcters dependent on your grasp of the people you've met, interacted with, observed or simply seen. (Now I'm just not making any sense, I should just go into what I'm saying)
I've often said that I love people, and I truly do, and in my 17 (meh call it 18) years of existence I've had the opportunity to meet more people than my poor excuse for memory can account for. So in this post I'll (try) to point out some of the things I've realised about people some through experience and some probably through dubious means like (I dont know.....) fictional charcters made by people half-way across the globe (though I won't mention them after this point though). But hey, It's my blog, and my *Immediate* Thoughts.
1. We are people who tend to understand others more than we understand ourselves
Have you ever given advice to someone after hearing their situation that is PERFECTLY applicable to yours, then wonder 'why don't I follow my own advice'??? As I've realised we really don't know ourselves half as well as we think we do. Like think about it. When it comes to other people; ets say for instance, our friends. We do in fact have an innate understanding (at least on a basic level) of our friends. We understand how their humour works (know which jokes we can run from which ones we can't), we understand how they generally reacht to certain situations, we understand what they think about certain things etc. Most of this, ofcourse, is due to maybe trial and error, observation etc. However from the beginning of this friendship, there had to be some mutual understanding, by whatever means. I guess similarities, shared interests etc count but they're not sufficient. I've come to be friends with people who i have little or nothing in common with... I believe that in our incredible social arsenal as humans we have the capability of understanding people. However, this capability doesn't quite seem to work that well on ourselves. We do understand ourselves somewhat, but we can hide things from ourselves, things that we need deep self reflection or (get this) SOMEONE ELSE POINTING IT OUT to actually discover.
2. We are people who love to segregate
We see it everyday. We create groups, and then turn groups against each other. Now conflict is our nature blah, blah, blah but we're really stupid about how we use it. I mean we become antagonistic towards people for the worst reasons. Race, gender, the school you go to, the place you come from... Things which sometimes don't even have any personal bearing on your life. And it creates this culture of steretyping which saddens me. I mean it's one thing to make a joke comcerning a stereotype, biut there are people who actually believe that you can bundle people together and stick a tag on them. (now in my lectures on "originality this" and "individuality that" you can basically understand my views on this) What feeds this, however, are two parts of our nature.
1. The need for belonging: we love being part of a group, belonging somewhere, having an identity as such.
2. The need for superiority: we love being in a better osition than others (or atleast feeling that we're in a better position than others) so if we can tag a whole sub group of poeple as being in a worse condition than we are then we will do it.
Neither of these are bad in themselves, it's just how we've approached them. if instead of labeling people as being worse than us we actually worked to be better (and all of us did) then I'm sure the world would be a better place. Similarly if we created our groups in a way that doesn't require antagonism against other groups then we could all work towards ur own superiority (if not over others over our "past self"... (Though i'm just a 17 year old idealist... what do I know??)
3. We are a people whose intentions and actions aren't necessarily coherent
We can legitimately do good things for bad reasons (vice versa). And for some reason it humours me. It makes me wonder how may people were hailed as heroes or imprisoned as criminals while their motives dictated would've dictated the opposite. Like how many people have killed out of love or rescued out out of hatred. We are driven by so many forces yet what we are driven to do is almost completely independent. To me, it's funny... But then it makes one think about one's own motives.
4.We are people who grasp after "impossibilities"
A few years ago the though that the mass of human knowledge, research and discoveries could be held in a man's pocket would have been deemed "impossible" yet now we have the internet which in a way is pretty much just that. A some years before that flight was also "impossible" and we all know how that unravelled. Even now in our imaginations we continually grasp after the things that we are incapable of (look at our entertainment...) The prospect of one day reaching something tomorrow that was impossible today is one of the driving forces behind our personal, and global development.
haaa so I ended up blabbing on about near-useless stuff and this may be a somewhat boring post after all (>_<) but bear with me. And I look forward to- whoaaa looking back on this post it's pretty long... haha, I got carried away. Anyways remember, in every situation; We are People: Nothing More, Nothing Less.
-Me
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