Continued Self-Awareness

Hey there! I'm writing again, and as I mentioned last time, my life still isn't falling apart. I'm fine. This post isn't necessarily another cry for help or a blind rant in search of catharsis, it's more a... discussion. Of course, it's a one way discussion, but most of you know me, so I don't know, if for whatever reason you feel you just have to reply, feel free to do so. Hit me up on Twitter,Telegram, um.. by smoke signal?  I don't know where else you could find me, but yeah. Do that, and I'd be glad to talk about whatever. That was a bigger diversion than it should have been, but this whole thing is meant to be stream of consciousness.. that's why it's called impulseprose.

So as most of you are aware, this blog has changed a great deal since its pathetic, but necessary beginnings. I was actually talking to a friend about this today (formerly known as Kohai, but that's no longer an accurate descriptor so let's refer to her as the Wayward Genius, Wayward to her friends.) As I was saying to Wayward, I think the defining feature of this blog has always been, to some degree, that it is an exercise in self awareness. It is, and has been, a tool to document and work through facets of my being that I have realised by just putting them out there. Not really to say "Look at me" but just for it to exist, I guess. So that I can go back to it, and that those I care about, who have helped me to come to these realisations in the first place can watch and see for themselves. That they can look on for a moment and say proudly, "Well... At least him know seh him fool".

So, with that in mind, I think it makes sense that I run into this theme headfirst. So far I've been stumbling into self awareness. I've come across morsels of understanding, just going through life, which I guess is just how life works. So by that metric I've been doing a decent job, but since I've been, unknowingly, on this journey of the Self for so long, I think it's time I take it seriously. It's about time I spend time actively looking into myself to dig out these truths. I mean, realistically, maybe some of them will turn up to be flowery bullshit that I've conjured up and convinced myself is true, but other stuff will be real and those understandings of myself will help me to be a better me. I can capitalize on my strengths and learn to work around my weaknesses and all that self improvement stuff (or I could do nothing about either, but you know. Optimism is nice sometimes.)

But, dear reader, what does that mean for you? 

I actually have no idea

But seriously, it could mean more posts on the blog. Which, really, is a bit of a double edged sword. On one hand some of you will actually hear from me, which is nice; but on the other hand it'll just be more ranting about myself. So, tl;dr if what you want is more of this rambly nonsense, then sure. You're Welcome. Otherwise, I deeply apologize. 

Now the funny thing about this is that all I've said up to this point was really supposed to be an introduction, but it became somewhat of an announcement didn't it. Sooo what that means is that there will be another post shortly after this one (though I won't specify shortly on what scale), but I actually have like 2 blog post worthy ideas (so... just ideas really) so I look forward to wasting a bit more of your time in the coming weeks. 

I'm making no promises. 

Hopefully, 

Me.