I've been meaning to write a blog post for some time now, and the idea was to recap and talk about the resolutions I made in my Ianuariis post. But, in light of recent developments, I realise I don't need to dedicate a whole blog post to that; just a paragraph really. Or a sentence. And all that sentence needs to say is "I've regressed in every facet of life I pointed out my need to progress in." Because this is what happens when you make New Years' Resolutions, you set up yourself for failure and disappointment. (Oh, all Primary school teachers are turning in their graves/beds right now.... starting several consecutive sentences with But, Or, Because, this whole paragraph is a disaster. Well Done, Mike.)
Before we go into the major discussion (yeah, the first paragraph wasn't enough this time) some more general announcements. Firstly: unfortunately The Death of a Don won't be possible this year. The more I pumped effort into it the more I realised that to present it at high quality wouldn't be possible in the time we have. I do have two smaller, less complex plays, one of which can be produced before the year goes out, so there's that. Secondly: I'M PLAYING A MAJOR-MINOR ROLE IN "WHERE IS MELISSA?" Right now, a month before production, I'm playing a role that commands one of the most complex parts of one of the most complex scenes, AND MY PART DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN UNDERSTUDY!! I am so psyched for this play, almost as much as I am nervous about it. The closer we get to production and the bigger I realise the event is the more nervous I get. Plus I'm doing choreography. I've been pained up since yesterday too. Most importantly, however, is that this play has a serious and important message and I'm honoured to be a part of it, in any capacity. Lastly: I'm not starting my serious bog for a while, so don't hold your breath, however I've been working on my writing and after this post I'll put up some of my /r/writingprompts work, for you to see my skizillz.
Now for new business: I need to start over. Getting back my grades from last year had an immense effect on my parents, and even one or two of my teachers. More than I thought it would have. Therefore it has incited in me some very important thoughts, and after talking to my father just a while ago, will cause some actions to be taken. Some I won't be comfortable with. However for the greater good, my greater good, they must be done. Thankfully I don't have to drop out of WIM? but my time has to be better used.
I need to start over. This year has had a greater toll on me than I thought. My teachers, except for ~2 of them, aren't doing very well and school life is about as stressful as schoolwork. Drama Club has zero therapeutic effect now and I continue to suck at my prefect duties. School is now, what it has never been for me. Difficult. Schoolwork got difficult starting last year, but school on a whole has always been pretty easy. Now I pretty much hate the place as much as I hate my house, and they are trying very hard to usurp the place that my house has been in my mind since childhood, as the place I would do anything but go to.
I need to start over. In January I said I need to start taking school seriously, now I need to start doing it. That Carib IA, my labs, studying. Especially now with WIM? and all these responsibilities, less of my time is actually mine. So I have to start using my time better, regarding my schoolwork. I'll work out how my writing practice, and the time for my future designs will go, but everything is on a tight leash now. I need to be on point now.
So now, I make a second commitment to my Time. You must be used better if I'm to be successful this year.
-Happy February.
Me
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