I realize that I've reached the stage where thinking about the future is not only important, but it's importance is greatly highlighted and stressed. I have the tendency however not to contemplate the future at all. You see I have learnt to keep myself quite busy, so busy that everything is done on the basis of urgency instead of importance. Today, though, is a bit different. Today the future spoke to me a little bit. It informed me that I was accepted by UTECH for Computer Science. Now like any acceptance letter recipient I was quite happy... but upon thinking about this and the decisions surrounding it I realized the potency of the choices ahead of me. In the process however it wasn't only the far future that I looked into but also the closer future.
So I shall start there:
It's the Final Week. Yes. Where Is Melissa? is THIS WEEK. I'm so excited? So exhilarated? Actually right now I'm mostly exhausted. As in, I've been tired before. Actually I've been tired for a very long time. However the exhaustion of this production is now at it's peak - I've been tired for like two weeks now. However, as it usually is when acting, it's the good tired. I know that there will be nothing in recent memory more satisfying than KILLING this show on Saturday; and I strongly believe the rest of the cast knows this as well. So I will ensure that every time I touch the stage on the coming night, there is a funeral to plan.
And Saturday isn't just about this production, which has consumed most of my energy and being over the past few weeks (or months?). It's also about everything this production has brought into my life... including dear Fairytale... This Saturday SHALL (and has to) be a day of fruition.
And just in case you haven't completely believed me about this whole production:
The Show Must Go On!
So why did this acceptance letter cause so much reflection? Well, as much as I love Comp. Sci. I am a science student for a reason: I have planned up to this point to be a doctor. Now while I love both somewhat equally, Medicine is admittedly a greater achievement, however not exactly a greater opportunity. In my eyes Comp. Sci. is everything. Medicine, Finance, Manufacturing, Industry... In some way or another those and more are all to some extent Computer Science. It's scope is endless.
Then even though I've put a lot of energy into this whole Med aspiration the more I think about it the scarier and worse as an investment it sounds. Firstly it's 5 more years of school (not counting the years of internship) at a hefty price of $2.8million a year (well.. i can possibly get a huge subsidy that drops hat to $600,000... and I must if I actually pursue the course.) So 5 years of difficult, round the clock and calendar work. As in after the First Year, I would be looking at 1 week of Christmas and abut 3 weeks of summer... added to this is the fact that the time this course demands makes it nearly impossible to do much else. Which is in fact my greatest fear. I can no longer, after the past 7 years, attend a school and do solely "school". I simply can't and the thought of doing that for the next 5 years is terrifying.
So I really want to do med... but the more I think about it the more like a question it sounds... Do I really want to do med?
I really can't answer that. But sooner or later I will have to.
Walk Good,
-Me
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