March 15: Performance and Direction

So yesterday Where is Melissa? came to fruition. Quite frankly it shot passed faster than I could have imagined... I was surprised to find out the run time was almost 2 hours. That however is how these things are. Our perception of time is dependent on the amount of time we have perceived. I've gone through what? 3 months of Where Is Melissa? so what the hell is 2 hours in comparison?

However as a performance, I believe ii was stellar. There were mistakes, but we worked around them. We put out everything we had on that stage, and I do feel the urge to declare the Where Is Melissa? premier a massacre, 'cause we all killed it. However I'll have to wait till tomorrow for the director's words on that matter.

In productions like this however I cannot overlook the importance of performance and direction. Performers are the medium through which the idea trapped in a script or some guy's head will be released to the world. Their performance will determine the reception of these ideas. Without performers a play is just literature, and while literature has magnificence and power in itself, performance is the art of giving life to that power and magnificence, and plays are in a way one of the only literary forms which allow this without hindrance (we have all been disappointed by book-inspired movie at least once in our lives). Even more interesting is that quality performance depends as much on the literature as it does the performer. If a character is badly written, it doesn't matter how well you play him/her... he/she is still a bad character.

However there lies yet another mediation between script/idea and the world: direction. Performers, as good as they may be, need direction. I assure you that if a bunch of world class performers were given a script and told "act" you would get something ranging from shitty to decent. What you would not get however is excellence. Direction offers the possibility of excellence in performance. Through (good) direction the performers are molded and set, their understanding of their roles and characters is deepened and broadened., understanding of the performance space is improved. In the end, you have performers uniquely tuned for that specific performance. That is where excellence comes from...

Yesterday, I believe there was plenty of performing excellence, however the hand of the director cannot be overlooked.

So with that said, me and Fairytale are a thing now.

With Nocturnal Fervour
-Me

The Future: Near and Far

I'm writing here more regularly... I have no idea if that's particularly good. I mean I'm 100% sure I have more constructive things to do; but anyways. We have lengths of thought to cover.

I realize that I've reached the stage where thinking about the future is not only important, but it's importance is greatly highlighted and stressed. I have the tendency however not to contemplate the future at all. You see I have learnt to keep myself quite busy, so busy that everything is done on the basis of urgency instead of importance. Today, though, is a bit different. Today the future spoke to me a little bit. It informed me that I was accepted by UTECH for Computer Science.  Now like any acceptance letter recipient I was quite happy... but upon thinking about this and the decisions surrounding it I realized the potency of the choices ahead of me. In the process however it wasn't only the far future that I looked into but also the closer future.

So I shall start there:

It's the Final Week. Yes. Where Is Melissa? is THIS WEEK. I'm so excited? So exhilarated? Actually right now I'm mostly exhausted. As in, I've been tired before. Actually I've been tired for a very long time. However the exhaustion of this production is now at it's peak - I've been tired for like two weeks now. However, as it usually is when acting, it's the good tired. I know that there will be nothing in recent memory more satisfying than KILLING this show on Saturday; and I strongly believe the rest of the cast knows this as well. So I will ensure that every time I touch the stage on the coming night, there is a funeral to plan.

And Saturday isn't just about this production, which has consumed most of my energy and being over the past few weeks (or months?). It's also about everything this production has brought into my life... including dear Fairytale... This Saturday SHALL (and has to) be a day of fruition.

And just in case you haven't completely believed me about this whole production:

The Show Must Go On!

So why did this acceptance letter cause so much reflection? Well, as much as I love Comp. Sci. I am a science student for a reason: I have planned up to this point to be a doctor. Now while I love both somewhat equally, Medicine is admittedly a greater achievement, however not exactly a greater opportunity. In my eyes Comp. Sci. is everything. Medicine, Finance, Manufacturing, Industry... In some way or another those and more are all to some extent Computer Science. It's scope is endless. 

Then even though I've put a lot of energy into this whole Med aspiration the more I think about it the scarier and worse as an investment it sounds. Firstly it's 5 more years of school (not counting the years of internship) at a hefty price of $2.8million a year (well.. i can possibly get a huge subsidy that drops hat to $600,000... and I must if I actually pursue the course.) So 5 years of difficult, round the clock and calendar work. As in after the First Year, I would be looking at 1 week of Christmas and abut 3 weeks of summer... added to this is the fact that the time this course demands makes it nearly impossible to do much else. Which is in fact my greatest fear. I can no longer, after the past 7 years, attend a school and do solely "school". I simply can't and the thought of doing that for the next 5 years is terrifying.

So I really want to do med... but the more I think about it the more like a question it sounds... Do I really want to do med? 

I really can't answer that. But sooner or later I will have to. 

Walk Good,

-Me

  

Looking Up: Some Positivity for Once.

So my last post was pretty negative and the overarching situation still stands, however it's about time I brought some positive vybes to impulseprose, so I'm gonna try my best to focus on everything good that is happening and has happened in my life recently (in no particular order). Lets Go.

1. DRAMA CLUB WEDDING DID SHEEELLL!!!! I mean I was really surprised at how well we pulled it off with close to zero practice. All I can say is improvisation is a beautiful, beautiful thing. It wasn't perfect. We started late and the food sharing was grossly inefficient, and as a result we had no actual reception. However all in all it was a success, even financially (which is a thing we have struggled with in the past) So yeah, as I said, the club's failures are my failures and the club's successes are the club's successes, and Friday's Drama Club Wedding was definitely the club's success. (Photos will be posted, they will be hype)

2. "Jamaica Hour" was actually enjoyable. I mean that's wholly because of the brilliance of a certain Theatre Arts teacher, she is nothing short of a savant really. The choice of MC was stellar, the items (for the most part) were of uniquely high quality and offered both high cultural and entertainment value (I mean a little girl preached from the scriptures of Alligator Pond 1:1 to the end. I was in tears), there were a few (MANY) hiccups and as assistant stage manager I was doing more running up and down than enjoying the show, but in the end it was a program well done. Amazing what people can do even under such grave conditions.

3. Where Is Melissa? is nearing call time. We have exactly 13 days till production. I wont speak much on it; but the experience is still quite surreal. I mean its not all rainbows and sweet perfume, we have gotten a lot of "cuss out" and we are still not anywhere near where we need to be. But all the same I can see it. Yes. I. Fucking. See. It. And I sincerely hope everybody else sees it too, unless they will get discouraged, because what I see is pretty spectacular. D-Day: March 15th.

4. I haven't been to Carib or Physics class in like 2 weeks. I don't know if this is truly positive, but it definitely feels good.

5. I'm apparently a person of interest in my school biome? Though I doubt being roumored about makes one a person of interest but hey, a niggs can dream. So there's a certain former jailbait that came to my school this school year, and I guess we basically hit it off pretty immediately, we're pretty much alike, and worlds apart. I tend to be close to my female friends (physically and otherwise) and that increases to the extent of how close I'm safely allowed to go. The consequence of this? Everybody now swears we are a couple. Now I have no problem with this, it's a recurring theme in high school life the romantic speculation, the belief that apparently platonic relationships are either inferior to or just less interesting than romantic ones... It's all natural. The immaturity about it however is bordering hilarious. I'll watch where it goes.

6. Finally: Romantic Interest? So as you here at impulseprose should know from Introductions......  I suck at relationships (and not in the good way), and since this blog started pretty much in the wake of a dead one, ya'll are pretty much up-to-date with my life in that regard since then... specifically that my life has not had that regard since then. Or since about 3 weeks ago. Now I don't mention names here for several reasons, and since the last SO alias was "a certain petite girl" I shall now dub thee... "Fairytale"  (She will read this, she will get this... she will smile). So 3 weeks ago the fairy tale started when she asked for my number. Yes. I was the prey. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN PREY (and if I understand correctly neither does she particularly hunt). There it began, and in the most bizarre growth of a relationship I've ever been apart of, 3 weeks later, having talked about everything from literature to equal oral sex rights and quite a few things in between I sit here calling her Fairytail. This is reckless as fuck, emotionally and I know I'm a sentimental so this will either actually put some life into me (which I need) or drain it all out. So it must be by magic that I know this and still look forward to taking the gamble.

So yeah, I guess my life isn't all New Tie problems and fuckery. I need to learn how to look up every now and then...

-Me

Old Tie Chronicles

I haven't written here in a long time -blah blah blah- introductory statements...

I sit here barefooted (I somehow lost my socks)and cross-legged in a corner in the Top Hall, surrounded by dancers and Major Lazer, once again truant (I do that more and more these days) pretty much in a generally crappy mood. You see I am now experiencing one of those moments when my tolerance of  this damn school is at a low. 

Now for some context.

Tomorrow is Jamaica Day... and the Drama Club Wedding. As the Drama Club president that makes the upcoming day one shitstorm of stress and responsibility. Naturally we are were going to do a play during the Jamaica Day celebrations. Yes. Were. You see I am now 100% certain that the school has decided to do everything wrong this year, and so instead of celebrating Jamaica Day we'll be having the Jamaica (almost) Hour, since they decided to limit the "celebration" to an hour... then request 15mins from that hour. Thus Leaving 45 mins for the CELEBRATION OF OUR CULTURE AND HERITAGE, because that must be all that it deserves... 

This pissed me off. It still pisses me off. And as a result of this hostility (I mean what else could it be?) towards it all, we (myself and those who were helping me plan and practice the play) decided that we wont be presenting that day. I really hate the decision for 2 reasons:

• I don't want to be remembered as the Drama Club president who never did anything for Jamaica Day. It sounds petty and probably it is, but I remember the president before me, and her inactivity, and how I hated the club that year (though probably still not as much as I hate it now...) But I don't want to be remembered as "that president". 
• This year was my idea year. Where Drama Club is concerned I have had my best ideas this year from The Death of a Don to the The Heritage Story. I as really proud of myself for coming up with these ideas and even my ability to visualize and script to some detail these ideas were things I was really excited about. However, none of them will come to fruition while I'm here. Hopefully it will be possible in later years, but I won't see them. That deeply saddens me. 

But OK, no Jamaica Day presentation, at least I'll have the wedding. Well since I wasn't in complete control of that I was a bit behind concerning its planning and everything. I took a role as we were short of people, ok. But now, the day before the production we have little to nothing ready. Ticket sales at this point seem pretty dismal and I'm just pretty down. Obviously this is still my fault as the president. The club's falls are my falls, the club's triumphs are the club's triumphs. At least those are my sentiments.

Overall I'm pretty tired. Tired of everything.

Now I've been wearing the old tie all week. Most people haven't noticed, but more and more people are asking me "Why're you wearing the old tie?"

To me it's symbolic. Though I guess in the end it doesn't mean anything.  But to me the tie now symbolizes the "Old Chesta". The one I loved. The one that was fun. The one that never pissed me off ever goddamned day. As if wearing the old tie will bring it back .  I know it won't, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't wish it could.

So I will wear the old tie. Hell if I can I'll graduate in it, I will. Because the Old Chesta is the one I wished for 7 years to graduate from.

-Me

  

/r/WritingPrompts

Basically /r/WritingPrompts is a subreddit, where people post ideas or premises for stories and others write using these ideas/premises. It's really cool and if anything it makes you write even more. Practice makes perfect. So I'll basically just write the prompt followed by my submission. Enjoy.
-Me

Prompt: "Instead of trading money for everyday things we trade memories."

Prompt: Write a short prompt about what it means to be from where you are from





Prompt: A guy comes face to face with death




Last one (though it's so incomplete I was actually in pain while I posted it. )

Prompt:   A world like Avatar: the Last Airbender except instead of bending the elements, people use musical instruments to perform magical acts based on what instruments.

Februarius: New Beginnings.

I've been meaning to write a blog post for some time now, and the idea was to recap and talk about the resolutions I made in my Ianuariis post. But, in light of recent developments, I realise I don't need to dedicate a whole blog post to that; just a paragraph really. Or a sentence. And all that sentence needs to say is "I've regressed in every facet of life I pointed out my need to progress in." Because this is what happens when you make New Years' Resolutions, you set up yourself for failure and disappointment. (Oh, all Primary school teachers are turning in their graves/beds right now.... starting several consecutive sentences with But, Or, Because, this whole paragraph is a disaster. Well Done, Mike.)

Before we go into the major discussion (yeah, the first paragraph wasn't enough this time) some more general announcements. Firstly: unfortunately The Death of a Don won't be possible this year. The more I pumped effort into it the more I realised that to present it at high quality wouldn't be possible in the time we have. I do have two smaller, less complex plays, one of which can be produced before the year goes out, so there's that. Secondly: I'M PLAYING A MAJOR-MINOR ROLE IN "WHERE IS MELISSA?" Right now, a month before production, I'm playing a role that commands one of the most complex parts of one of the most complex scenes, AND MY PART DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN UNDERSTUDY!! I am so psyched for this play, almost as much as I am nervous about it. The closer we get to production and the bigger I realise the event is the more nervous I get. Plus I'm doing choreography. I've been pained up since yesterday too. Most importantly, however, is that this play has a serious and important message and I'm honoured to be a part of it, in any capacity. Lastly: I'm not starting my serious bog for a while, so don't hold your breath, however I've been working on my writing and after this post I'll put up some of my /r/writingprompts work, for you to see my skizillz.

Now for new business: I need to start over. Getting back my grades from last year had an immense effect on my parents, and even one or two of my teachers. More than I thought it would have. Therefore it has incited in me some very important thoughts, and after talking to my father just a while ago, will cause some actions to be taken. Some I won't be comfortable with. However for the greater good, my greater good, they must be done. Thankfully I don't have to drop out of WIM? but my time has to be better used.

I need to start over. This year has had a greater toll on me than I thought. My teachers, except for ~2 of them, aren't doing very well and school life is about as stressful as schoolwork. Drama Club has zero therapeutic effect now and I continue to suck at my prefect duties. School is now, what it has never been for me. Difficult. Schoolwork got difficult starting last year, but school on a whole has always been pretty easy. Now I pretty much hate the place as much as I hate my house, and they are trying very hard to usurp the place that my house has been in my mind since childhood, as the place I would do anything but go to.

I need to start over. In January I said I need to start taking school seriously, now I need to start doing it. That Carib IA, my labs, studying. Especially now with WIM? and all these responsibilities, less of my time is actually mine. So I have to start using my time better, regarding my schoolwork. I'll work out how my writing practice, and the time for my future designs will go, but everything is on a tight leash now. I need to be on point now.

So now, I make a second commitment to my Time. You must be used better if I'm to be successful this year.

-Happy February.
Me

Plans, Ambitions and the Insufficiency of Time

So I've basically had a tonne-load of things to write about and little or no time to talk about it. It is however a good thing that I haven't gotten the opportunity because the last few days have put many things into perspective. However since "Time" is in the title I'll write these things in chronological order, based on when I started to think about these things.

First matter of business: The Death of a Don(?) Even though this has been a HORRIBLE year to be a club president I haven't given up. In fact this year I have had some of my best production ideas since forever and I am dedicated to ensuring they are presented at the highest quality. The Death of a Don however is my pinnacle of ideas this year. A mystery/drama in Jamaican context, good characters and a ridiculous back story... I would share more but that wouldn't be good for business... I can however share this:

As excited as I am about this however, part of me can't help but worry about the time I'm gonna end up spending on this, and by part of me I mean a few concerned friends. I mean this is my last year and I need good grades and what not, can I really afford to invest time in writing,planning, rehearsing and producing 3-4 plays in succession? Of course I can just start using time more wisely but even there I struggle horrendously. But it doesn't end there.

Second: The Teenage Blogger(?) Well I have two blogs, so what could this be about? Well, I've realised that the Internet is one raging cesspool of opportunity and exposure. Out of all my skills I have come to believe that my writing has the most potential. I have also had a recent interest in blogs. I don't see myself as entertaining or visible or relevant enough to do a video blog, though vloggers are among my favourite people on the great and ever-present Internet. However the thought came to me that blogging in itself also has potential for tapping into the Internet's resources in opportunity. So at the beginning of this year (as in January 1st, 2014) I started to seriously consider starting and maintaining a BLOG blog (not like these two little things... I mean blog with an AUDIENCE outside of my closest circle of friends...)

Anyways, the Blog; I was thinking of making it surrounding writing as a whole. My original content, my thoughts and recommendations concerning books that I've read, the original content of other young writers and other fun writing related stuff. As you would expect, like TDoaD,this is  major project, and even worse as this is LONG TERM and TDoaD is gonna be over in a few months, to reap any rewards from this blog idea may take a much more significant amount of time. Do I Have the Time?

Finally: The Actor(?) This week I have been given the opportunity to act in a play. "But you're like drama club president of course you've been in plays..." No. We are talking about a PLAY play here. As in I walked into rehearsal on Friday, got a copy of the script and this was on the cover:

At that point my mind was like"RAAASSCLAAAA-" So as you must realize by now this isn't any domestic, school-esque play. This is a play. A legitimate opportunity for me to act on a stage in front of an audience at least  quasi-professionally. This is one of those particular opportunities that I generally NEVER get. Yet here I am, going to choreography practises like I'm not the living reincarnation of cardboard. Still the hanging question is: Do I Have the Time to Dedicate to This?

Unfortunately, I have no definite answer. The insufficiency of time has always been a recurring theme in my life, and everybody's (or I would like to believe it has been a part of everybody's) yet I still have not learnt how to properly deal with it. However, like everything else in life, the stakes get higher every time you play the game. Now, hanging in the balance by Time's Insufficiency is my perceived "future", and I still, somewhere, believe I can still do everything and lose nothing. Perhaps that's my personal brand of pride, or stupidity.

So, as much as I hope you are all better at managing your time than me, acknowledge your personal insufficiency of time and find a way to act accordingly.

As I (finally) start my Caribbean Studies IA,
-Me